A theory expounded by John Grinder and Richard Brandler in the ’70s, NLP describes the fundamental dynamics between mind (neuro) and language (linguistic) and how their interplay affects our body and behaviour (programming). NLP is a science that has hundreds of techniques that can be used to better your personal and social skills, among other things. Life coach Malti Bhojwani gives you five easy DIY methods to make the most out of your professional life.
Rapport is all about understanding your client and reacting appropriately. A person using this technique is essentially interpreting the world as their subject sees it. People use certain words to show how they think. So if a person says ‘I hear you’ or ‘I like the sound of that’ they are auditory people. If they say ‘I see what you mean’ they are visual people. During a sales pitch, if you can talk in their language, you will have better results.
This is nothing but changing your own perspective to a situation in life. If you are stuck in traffic, instead of going to work in a huff, do this; Replace ‘I’m stuck in traffic in this heat, and it’s taking forever’ with ‘I’m listening to great music, and I’m going to work for lesser time today, and it just seems like time has stopped, it’s superb.’
You could also use it to get a mental breakthrough. For creative people stuck on an idea, ask yourself how you can improve the situation. I have found that if I give myself a random number, it works better. So, five ways this idea can be done better or seven things I can do to improve this situation. When you force yourself to think, better ideas are generated. Refine is looking at a situation from an empowering point of view.
When your emotions are intense in a positive way that is the best state you can be in. Remembering this state to feel better through a rough patch is helpful. First you have to concentrate and remember a time when you were genuinely happy or confident. When you can actually remember the feeling, life coach veteran Anthony Robbins asks his readers to clench their fist and bring it down like you are pulling something.
This brings about an association — from feeling to action. So when you have an ineffective day at work, you don’t need to tell yourself that you’ve had better days, just do the action and you’d feel better.
We all have references to a time when we felt good in our lives, anchoring just brings these feelings to the fore and helps you remember them more clearly.
This one is a little difficult and you may need help from a friend or a practitioner. Everyone has mixed feelings about their jobs. But it is in congruency of thought that the best possible results can be achieved. For example, you want to stay slim, but you also want to have a piece of chocolate cake. So, what you do in parts integration is break a thought down to its most basic level. You want to stay slim because it makes you feel good. You want to eat a piece of chocolate cake also because it makes you feel good. But you won’t stay slim if you eat the piece of cake, hence you won’t feel good anymore.
With parts integration you appreciate all the parts of a thought and do what is best for you.
Use of language
There are many different models for the language you use. Many people use these techniques without even knowing it.
The use of ‘but’ has a very negative effect in communication. So if you say, I loved your idea, but… Everything you said before the conjunction is nullified. Try replacing ‘but’ with ‘and’ for effective communication of a thought.
A great way of making your colleagues believe in an idea is to use presupposition. So, if you are sealing a sales pitch, you say, ‘This presentation really made you think differently about my company, so how should we proceed?’ It doesn’t always work, but it does give you an advantage.
Also, give people a close-ended question if you want them to do something. So, if you’ve coldcalled a company, and they’ve heard you out, you say, ‘So should we meet on Tuesday or Friday?’ The brain looks at the statement as two viable options and in all likelihood will choose one. Do the opposite if you want to drive someone away.